I am alone again!!

Keys are being struck at 2:32 AM, at a place where umpteen boxes with a logic inside, are sitting in silence.Among them, is this little unlucky box and this shining wide screen , which is just taking my weirdo thoughts as input and displaying them in these array of pearls which you are reading at the moment. These fellows must have never imagined, that they will need to do the excruciating logical calculations at such wee hours of morning.. Yes.. they need some sleep too.. after all they go in a hibernation mode too.. aren't they cold-blooded animals ? :)

But, there is one thing ,hierarchically and biologically ahead of them, which will not let them even sense the feeling of loneliness.. That is this little human being who is busy sipping a cuppa koffee and giving some pain in the *** to the tiny silicon chip in this stupid box. And, there is a label to each one of those human beings, my being 'Anshul'. So here I go, telling you something about myself, and you would probably get to know ,why the hell am here in office :

I live in seconds. So, I live my day in 86400 different states of mind and mood. Every mood, every thought of mine, every state of my mind is solely governed by those little droplets of experiences, brought about by the people around me and those vibes in the air. I can be in innumerable states at a time. I just don't know which physics principle I violate, but my energy and momentum are not constant. I can seek love from you, and love you, no matter how deeply or not-so deeply connected are we. I would let my mind move at a pace, that my heart lags behind and falls apart. I extract the soul out of things and then let them go. Life seems to be granules of dust to me,and if each one of them is made a diamond , my soul would love to be embellished by them.Dependency injection has no place in my unruly life, wherein I am so misbehaved that I would knowingly bully my soul and make it dirty. Love finds the first index in the array of my emotions, to an extent that I pour out my weeds of frustration to the one, I am in love with. My mind rules my heart, still the latter is the conquerer of many other hearts :).. The reason why I reason things, is i am too dumb to understand them.I let go things that matter to me a lot ,so easily at times, and fasten my soul to some stupid pillars of failures at times. This was a bit of me, in a state of pouring my feelings out, at this moment.

My bay is illuminated again, as the office boys are on their job of cleaning the mess , the other human species of this organization left behind. And, alas!! my state flips to be a helping person and so, I am going to help these guys out in making this place of stupid boxes clean!!

Gudnite people..oops.. Gud Morning!!

If only I could DIE!!

If only LIFE could see the tears, in the WORLD all around,
which lays straight, full of hounds and weeds,
snatching from us the pearls of joy, injecting in us the colors of doom.
If only I could 'not LIVE'.

DEATH sees through your eyes, moistens the lids,
doesn't let the tear flow,says it is precious enough.
Picks up a few(men) from the wrathful WORLD,
divine DEATH is, and colorful enough,
embellishes the body with a sense of touch.
It injects out the trash in body,
fills it with recipe of heavenly love.
If only I could DIE!!


If only LIFE could heal the dirty SOUL,
which muffles the feel, the touch, the life with thought.
Rules the mind, not letting it love the coveted heart,
creates a line between the two,
and then saying the mind flinches away from heart.
If only I could 'not LIVE'.

It cleanses the SOUL,
makes it shine with a droplet of life.
Lets the soul feel th touch and live the life,
asks the heart to love the mind.
If only I could DIE!!


If only LIFE could let free the BODY,
which is fettered in shackles, and crying in pain.
Movement restricted, places limited,
loves to fly , but drags on plains.
If only I could 'not LIVE'.

DEATH frees the BODY,
lets it fly, go places and play the game; the game of LIFE!!
Lightens the body, parts ceased,
just the cleansed soul and eyes to see.
Power unlimited, gets th body,
can rule the world, because it is the power of DEATH.
If only I could DIE, If only I could DIE!!


Love,
Anshul