Self Realisation!!

"You are contemplative and analytical by nature"..
This is what the so-called 'today's fortune' of my home page at Orkut said..at 5:20 P.M. when i decided to finally close the Orkut window after dabbling on Orkut for not less than 6 hrs..from 10 AM to 4 PM..
"Your key characterstics are: Persistence,Perserverence,Ambitious and hard-working"..
This is what www.astrology.com said..These so very adulations which are not intended by the writer,really accentuates me a little and makes me really sad a lot and think about my purpose of life...the ultimate goal..I started my journey of self-realization a long way back..but still when i wake up from the delusion ,I realize that i am still standing at the first station of my journey,waiting for someone to join me and take me along,moving ahead on this path..i dont even know whether i should spell realize as 'realize' or 'realise'.I do it both ways..This may be a not so significant..but it shows that my ambivalent mind is far from reaching equanimity ,which will ultimately lead to the goal i wished to achieve..and adding to that is the my extremely poignant and capricious nature which further deteriorates my mental state..my ubiquitous mind and my stoical nature are responsible for this profound state of mine..this may be sounding like a saadhu-baba ..but i feel like articulating it to you all...i wish i would have been a child,smiling and crying alone ,incapable of discerninig what is right ,what is wrong..But neways,I being a ardent lover of this strange life,will always keep on trying to search the path towards "NIRVANA"..though this is pretty boring..But it seems u n i will enjoy it!!