Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Recession-Alien

Bangalore, 17th December 2008 - As one of the aftermaths of the sub-prime crisis in the US and the dilapidating world economy, some weird creatures called 'Recession-Aliens' have been spotted in the town.There was a chaos in several parts of Bangalore on Saturday, when huge groups of 'Recession-Aliens' came out on streets and innocously brain-washed the employees of several organisations. As a social initiative, I present before you the anatomy such people and the do's and dont's if you come across one of them.

1. Recession-Aliens (RA), are generally found in small groups, in a dingy corner of the cafeteria , or around the cubicle of their fellow RA, or even in the rest-rooms. They usually talk about the woes of the falling economy, news of their friends from other organisations being fired or some plain confident predictions about the number of people to be laid-off from their workplace and some so-called inside confidential information.

2. When he is alone, he sneaks into Naukri.com or other job portals every 5 mins, after confirming that his manager is not around. He may also be found taking interviews on phone, in the conference rooms after office hours.

3. He effortlessly convinces people , about not taking them for a treat on his birthday, with some newly born recession cliches like ' Recession ka time hai yaar, kis baat ki party'. 

4. A Recession-Alien, when found outside the office with  his friends from other organisations, boasts about his company not being hit by the recession or the bad economy as ' We are from a different domain , you know!! . We aren't affected much by this.'.

5. You will see a sharp increase in the performance, punctuality and effiency of a Recession-Alein from the past few months, as he is highly petrified from being laid-off pretty soon.

6. Last, but not the least, BEWARE!! - Your manager could be a Recession-Alien too .

"It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going." So Do's and Dont's are for you to decide.

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