We are same same but different!!!

Similar lines are drawn,
painted in a different manner..
Treasure is locked amidst,
numerous keys exist..
One power rules the self,
the soul's demeanor is amiss
We are same same but different!!

Love rules our way,
search for it, hiding in the mist
Beads of passion are found in abundance,
bodies are embellished with a necklace..
Layers of ego spread across,
peel the talks, it covers the fence..
We are same same but different!!

Strolling bodies fast enough ,
wheels underneath roll not same..
Umpteen thoughts are killing softly,
one may die, one may exist..
Everybody is losing hard,
money, love, smile or life..
We are same same but different !!

Nothing touches perfection,
wishes forcing the needs to want it..
Splurging money is flooding the arena,
divided in a manner, intricate by means..
Power eyed upon for a millennium span,
impact will vary from mild to disastrous..
Yet we are same same but different!!

Love,
Anshul

Thats the vacuum in my LIFE !!

Feelings are lost, Vigor is dead
I lay there straight, stitched by threads
Day is short, nights seem long
Trudging life , Ends the song
Pallid stars, life is blue
Soul shrieks, but that is true
..thats the vacuum in my life

Keys are struck, but result is void
Mind jiggles, expression devoid
Books lay open, no reader to read
Words scribbled, no meaning they lead
Lights glare, eyes flinch
Divulging spirits, hard they pinch
.... thats the vacuum in my life

Love prevails, liaisons curtailed
Senses so strong, the manner derailed
Unearthly touch, bodies dispel
Whispers so sensuous, no time to tell
Trysts which titillate, places vanished
Time no bar, 'The MAN' banished
.... thats the vacuum in my life

Expectations so high, no courage to face
Plenty to do, mind hooked with a lace
Achievements are many, habit evades
Knowledge brims, desires pervade
Talent enough, determination on crutches
Anxious heart, situation blushes
.... thats the vacuum in my life

Mates so sweet, ego sours
Eyes shine, but a tear which pours
Nature benign, life departs
Lots to see, things apart
Healthy body, but in the form of corpse
Water spills, in the form of drops
... thats the vacuum in my life

The Mirage called Life!!!

Mirage – It may be an illusion of water, in the desert, for a deer. But it is an illusion of life for human beings. We human beings as mere conglomeration of some body parts (akin to the spare parts of a machine), are under the constant hallucination and illusion of life in our minds. Life is a labyrinth of self-created emotions, unwanted happenings and unrestrained indulgences. It is this life, which some of us want to win over. It is this life, which most of us want to be long enough. It is this life which everyone wants to live and experience. But alas, it is the same life which none of us has actually understood and realized what it is meant for.

Apart from being the biological phenomenon of a beating heart, a working brain and functioning body parts, there is much more required to induce life in these deadpan human beings. Life that we live is just a far-fetched illusion of being happy, contented and healthy.

Life essentially means the same to each one of us; and it is solely governed by nothing other than achieving self-establishment, self-respect and umpteen other selfish motives. People say, a mother’s love for her child is consecrated and pure, but it is for her happiness and self, she loves her child. A devotee to god may be void of all the materialistic desires, but it is for his self and satisfaction, he worships god. Hence, it is you; you live your life for. That is the power of LIFE, which has such an aura and such a deep-rooted sense of needs and wants associated with it, that even god may seem to be in the fit of hallucination, once he comes down to his self-created earth. But god being intelligent and potent enough is exploiting human beings for his own purpose, which is to discover the true meaning and essence of LIFE!!!

It is the stones, the pillars, the sand, and the rivers. It is the mountains, the lanes, the water and the rains, not me and you, who know the true meaning of life. It is them, who have never complained, it is them who have never cried. It is the myriad non-living things in this nature, which we say are devoid of life, who have never departed from this beautiful thing called LIFE. They have never been in such a quandary, where the human beings and god have always been; and have always found it difficult to set free. They have never extracted the soul out of life, for their own self. Far and above from the spiritualities and the materialism and illusion, they have been witnessing and experiencing the color of life for ages.

It should be them who should be awarded the “LIFE TIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD ‘, not the vacuous homo sapiens and the unintelligible supremo, the GOD. Hence, try and live the life like them, and you would soon be out of this mirage called LIFE.

Silence!!

Hi guys.. m back with my uncultivated thoughts and eccentric views..Its 3:41 PM..I am sitting in front of my PC at my desk.. Elton John is busy "SACRIFICE-ing" on the speakers..I have never talked and soliloquized like this ever before.. m loving this loneliness..this silence.. the peace..
I have always loved darkness, the loneliness in a serene atmosphere like this.. the feeling of having someone so close to my heart..but far away..swimming in this ocean of heart felt love and care for people around me..

I took the MOCK-CAT-10 this morning..screwed it up big time..still m at so much peace rite now..you knw why..'coz there is noone around me who is battling hard with himself to gain that ephemeral happiness and soothe his inner self..the inanimate PC's are lying here in wait of there owners to hit the keys soon..there is an air of anticipation around..but nothing is at stake..so the volume of adrenalin in this room is just enough to make me feel on the top of this world..

Every single word of any song that is playing...fills the air around me with so much love, faith, hope...it says live the life this way..like i am..not the way you live..let your mind and heart submerge in the this gift of god..and then would feel the calm, the inner-satisfaction..

What if I never go home..? What if I don't study ? What if I don't talk to people ? Can I ?
YES!! I can..and with no severe consequences on my mind and heart.. You knw what..World's 100 % democratic place is where ? Its inside you..where there is no one to stop your senses, your mind, your heart.. they are the mist lucky ones to live there share of life.. but its your soul that doesn't let them do so.. It is so much ingrained in its pursuit to achieve NIRAVANA.. which it never can..until it lets them breathe freely.. What you ought to do is..

Let this SILENCE build up the horizon..from where your mind, body , heart and soul can look up to the soul.. and say..that they are free and devoid of everything.. and then your soul will condescend upon them..and be in peace forever...

Lost!!

Lost in the memories.. lost in the world.. lost in her.. lost in my mind.. lost in air.. lost in dad.. lost in office.. lost in exams.. lost while talking..lost while sleeping..LOST when I am lost..

Thats all I am..LOST..
The search began in 1986 and has still not reached to an end..I kept searching for the rite thing that keeps me consistent..contended..something that can cure me..my mind..but in this dense and gloomy world of my fantasies, I revolved around the pillar of life so many times..that i am not able to identify the start and the end of my actions..my behavior, my words and above all my THOUGHTS..

I believe I THINK a lot..She says she THINKS a lot..Dad says , " You need to THINK SON!!"..Mum says, " At least THINK about US".. Bro says " Let me THINK my way".. God THINKS he has already thought about everything that going to happen...Is it so..?? .. I am lost in this world..try thinking that you are alone in this world..there is nobody around..you are the only person left on this planet..now try to THINK.. What happened..feels weird..rite..Why ?
Because you are LOST.. This life and this world is a puzzle, having myriad pieces..with innumerable number of feelings and situations in them..But they are scattered.. we need to collect them.. but we cant..we are LOST.. we don't know the way, to affix them.. had anyone of us known that.. he would have known his future..What we can do is , just garner as many pieces of puzzles and try living in the situations contained by that puzzle with feelings associated with it..

Then you will find the way.. he moment you try to get out of a piece and look for the next.. you are LOST.. Life is a SEARCH.. search of those rite pieces among the umpteen useless ones..
However, the search doesn't end here.. You need to dive and explore that piece.. you need to amalgamate with the feelings inside it.. and then you'll realize.. life really is beautiful with a dynamic base which YOU can change..according to you as you want..All you need is:

BELIEF, OPENNESS, a complex MIND, an EXPLORING personality.. and if you search for any of these in you.. you will find it the next moment..so..lets EXPLORE!!

Join me..

Re-lation-Ship

Who the hell do you think you are ?..
Go to hell...
Kuch nahi..
I dont want to talk to you..

That was the conversation between me and my soul..

This is all a relationship is all about..the more you expect..the more you are bogged down in the 'Sargasso Sea' of irritation and frustration..Implications of the over-passionate and possesive attitude unveiled soon and I found myself lying down..with a heavy mind, body , heart and soul..
I used to teach people..instead I used to preach this to ppl.." Get rid of your expectations from life, God , parents, friends, ppl.. and you will find no reason to cry over..life will seem beautiful , as it definitely is.."..

But ALAS!! .. I was the first one who fell prey to it..Life has been like the "BSE-Sensex" since then..
Sudden upsurges of weird but nice feelings..instant downfall of the mental map..gratified and contented from outside..and equally devastated and frustrated from inside.. gawdd..is this what I always used to dream of.. is this what I needed ? ..certainly not..

So, what can I do about it..
My soul - Get rid of every responsibility, free yourself from obligations..meditate..spiritualize..react..enlighten..but how ? , I said..

Me - Shall I dematerialize myself.. the process would take long..but will certainly take me away from the intrications of this painful life..LIVE and let LIVE..but what about my alter-ego.. it doesnt allow me to do so..it shouts out loud every moment and is the only reason I land up in trouble..

My Soul - You are not responsible for any body's happiness..you are here to be happy and the people around you will absorb the positive vibes in you..you ought to live to the fullest.. let no feeling of any sort. ruin your mental-map.. GROW..EVOLVE.MATURE..

Me- But how...the only way I can do this is.. DONT EXPECT... and thats what I do the most.. How not to EXPECT.. How to ignore.. How to hate people.. How do I cut myself apart from this institution called 'LOVE'...


My Soul - Its unreal..its a hallucination... you built it.. it doesn't exist.. THINK..ANALYZE...RETROSPECT.. what did you get from it... nothing.. leave aside the joy.. but did you evolve...no.. u didnt.. u are not the fittest among all.. you cannot SUSTAIN.. you have to die...

Thats how I died , but I am still there in the minds and hearts of people I expected from... but I am happy now.. as I EVOLVED...

Loneliness...naah...love prevails..

Akon said it with his ineffable and impeccable style of presentation ,how lonely was he with his song "Lonely" time n again on NITE MIX(9-12 PM)..n I heard it with soo much compassion everytime..but never did the world seemed so desolute to me and never did i articulate it to the masses..But believe me,it is the contenment and my eccentric attitude towards the god's gift called "LIFE" ,that allows me to nurture my mind and inner self.I believe,that we must never allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a Mystery..

This was recently added to my so called "stupid beliefs"..It means that we must not renounce upon the beautiful facts and experiences of life,but should devote some of our,(again) so-called precious time to enlighten ourselves..Come on people..Race against urself than competing against others..I have experienced the beauty of peace and solitude through a (again) so-called 'Realationship' which departed from trust and love in such a manner that i was left out standing on the tip of an Iceberg which could melt anytime..But it was my faith and belief that rekindled the fire and a new,sweet though a bit strange and obscure..but still a realtionship beautiful in every sense was born..Thanks a lot to her..a girl called...leave it..she'll kill me...

JADED-PART 2

Yo!! So i am back ppl...lets continue my xxtra-boring story..with "Deep's Fitness Club" as the lead character this time...Scene 2..Take 2..ACTION..

Deep's Fitness Club- I had just come home after a joy-ride on my pale blue dilapidated LML Vespa, with a few friends of mine. To be true, honest and precise..the FEW equals 3..making a total of 4 including me at the driver's seat..and the varieties were..1 small,2 medium and 1 extra-large 'HOMOSAPIEN' on a 23-old LML vespa which could barely sustain a single body's weight..I thought it was too much fun, but there was much more waiting for me at home.. 5 xtra small in size, but extremely puckish and unruly creatures, nick-named- 'Raja', 'Cheeku', 'Nikku' , 'Akshu' and 'Tuktuk'..Whoops!! i believed i love kids..and i still stand by my belief, but those 5 innocent-faced kids were the bombshells and the missiles, Indian government was looking for.. Those kids could bump into anybody and blast off his eardrums with their boisterous laughter, shrills and 'MUMMY-PAPA' calls..They vexed me to the extent that i went berserk and dragged the largest of them (akshu) out of the room..and the other 3 sizes of the 'cute-little' boorish kids ran away themselves on seeing the 'CHANDAAL' roop of their MAMA..their very own and loved ANKIT MAMA..(dats me!!)..You must be wondering where does the fitness club actually fit-in here.what could i do yaar..couldn't resist telling about the kids..i love them..hmmm..so..fitness club..

I switched on the TV, changed the channel to '97', with a remote which has barely visible keypad..97-STAR WORLD..It was time for F.R.I.E.N.D.S..But i think it was not my day..All i could witness was 'Matt de Blanc' and 'David Schwimmer' i.e 'Joey' and 'Ross', guzzling down milk from a bottle fitted with a nipple..and the milk was not the ordinary one..it was 'BREAST MILK'..puky..haan..check out the second season again..u'll find out..
So that was the end of the much awaited and the only good thing i used to watch..Then started the xtra-pompus and bombastic , yet the most feminine and jerky talk show.."KOFEE WITH KARAN"..go to hell..yaar..i 'll better grab a cup of coffee with a chick( "pyaar ke side effects" !!).. our very own karan, the best of both the sexes, fired at hrithik roshan..the guest that night.."Hrithik..women went mad after you in DHOOM-2 and their boyfriends felt insecure and offended..what do you want to say to their insecure-lovers.." He fired back.."GO HIT THE GYM!!!"..

So thats where my pre-existing but shy muscles shrieked out.."Go you damn lousy and indolent fellow.."..I bought a pair of gloves that evening and moved on for my first day at the gymming paradise..A huge virile..in fact a mammoth with metal-edged muscles.., walked out and said gruffly- "Ho jayega...200 rs per month!!"..I reassured myself by asking the fee again..200 ?? He said.."YES!!".. Now thats why i think..damn..i shud have taken a job here in kota..30000 per month is affluency here..and i need not mention, this mere sum would leave me on the edged of penury in noida..if i happen to get a 2-BHK flat for 16000/-...like piyush..I was elated and soon started the "Dumbell Flies" with 5 Kg extra weight on them..The thought that this gruelling effort

JADED...

"Dyspepsia", "07442504685", "Deep's Fitness Club", "The Prometheus Deception", "Fundamentals of Quantitative Aptitude Part-2", "A"..

BEMUSED ?? Chillax.. These seemingly weird and unrelated words represent a piecewise and a overabriged report of my stay at home from 2nd June 2007 to '______July 2007" (Let it be blank, and pray for me that the value that fills this is less than or equal to the square root of the LCM(4*5,8*5*10). Let’s elucidate upon these bizarre keywords or rather the penultimate bastions of my 'BOREDOM'. If you ask me two words that best describe my life from 2nd June 2007 to '_________ July 2007' (plzz...less than or equal to 5!/3!) are :

"INEFFABLY JADED".

Here I (i don’t believe in aggrandizing my SELF, so its 'i' not 'I') go..

'DYSPEPSIA'- It was my pleasure that it was introduced to this strange sounding word , which has a 'BIG BRAND', endorsed by many, in its name (PEPSI!!),by my very own DAD. But little did i anticipate that the 'DYS'and 'IA' at the end of this BRAND-0-philic word would affect my life so much. I had been honored by a place called 'LOO' (which i rarely visited uninterestingly before !) or rather awarded. a full-fledged package which includes '3-4' luxury visits, '3-4' spoons of a so-called 'ELIXIR' (as the doc said) which seems to be very indifferent towards me, and '8-9' sweet miniscule tablets which had a curing-effect similar to their size. So a visit to this very holy place was scheduled for me after every dose of my 'life-saving', mineral-rich diet which included 'Dalia', "Khichdi' and 'CURD'(without salt and pepper).

To prevent making this part of my experience emetic and soporific, lets move on to the next milestone '07442504685...

'07442504685'- Dont worry its not my Swiss Bank Account password!! These 11 magical digits form the username of my ultra-fast 'DIAL-UP INTERNET' from BSNL..and the password which is much 'COVETED' by many of my friends and family members too..A ray of hope emerged from the low lying horizon of my life..that this would serve as an 'ANTI-ENNUI' drug for me.. But alas!! and to nobody's surprise, it was soon notified to me in the form of a dialog box saying "Password could not be verified or the remote server is not responding !!".. I also don't respond to such messages thrown away at me and at the bubble at the bottom right corner indicating a mere '4.8 KBPS'.. I go through the 'lovely-pics' of my ex-female-classmates 10! times till the status bar starts showing.. "Waiting for reply...www.orkut.com found!! " PHEWW!!

Rest of the seemingly interesting words should be vieled till tommorow..don't forget to check them out!!